Meet Rosa. Rosa loves Jesus and her church. God has blessed Rosa financially, and in turn, she blesses her church through generous and regular giving. Rosa is nearing the end of life, and as her health declines, her need for skilled care will increase - and with it, her need for pastoral care. Rosa also loves her family, those who will inherit whatever she leaves behind. Unfortunately, Rosa's heirs do not share her love for her church, perhaps not even her love for Jesus. They perceive that they would benefit financially if Rosa would discontinue her financial support of her church. While this is a fictitious scenario, the trend it describes is very real and more common than you might expect. If you pastor aging people in your congregation, you will bump into this trend at some point. You are likely to encounter this trend if:
Clearly you cannot simply confront the family on the matter, but here are some actions you may be able to take:
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I used to enjoy sparring online with people in different debate forums. A response I received once jolted me a bit: "Experience has to count for something." Over time, my perspective has changed some. I still think there are pastorates out there for guys who have never done it before. At the same time, I definitely see the value of experience. So - wait a minute - the headline of this post is "How Leaders Grow," but the opening paragraph is all about experience. Yep. You guessed it. As a plant needs exposure to sunlight, water, and rich soil - it also needs time. And it is not true that experience is the best teacher. Evaluated experience is the best teacher.
This post goes a bit deeper than the basic reminder that, as leaders, we need to communicate our expectations and communicate them clearly. You probably have that part down. I find, though, that it is easy to stop there -- and that's not enough. Not only must we communicate what we do want; we must communicate what we don't want.
With the diverse backgrounds of our followers along with different educational attainment, hearing ability, predisposition toward cooperation or not, and so much more, twenty people can hear the exact same presentation and draw at least twenty different conclusions. In fairness, we cannot anticipate every ditch people may stumble into, but investing a few moments to consider this can save you time and headaches down the road. Consider an example. Our church recently added a staff member. We wanted to give that staff member purchasing power, so we asked the bank to generate a credit card for him with "the same information" as the card that I carry as pastor - same billing address, same credit limit, same fact pattern. Months later, we learned that the bank had generated a credit card sharing the credit limit with the card I carry (which is typical procedure we now know). We thought we had clearly communicated that we wanted an additional amount, raising the overall organizational credit limit to accommodate, but the term "same" led all of us into a ditch. Trust me - I could share dozens of other examples, but for a variety of professional reasons, it would be unethical for me to do so. Bottom line: Think through a couple of possible corruptions of your message, and kindly communicate that those corruptions are not what you are after. When a loved one passes, the manner in which we honor and remember that loved one is moving away from traditional funeral proceedings. At first, I saw these new gatherings as very fitting exceptions to the rule, but this year, three out of four memorials in my ministry have followed this new trend. And while there are certainly financial reasons for this shift, I truly believe the primary reason is emotional health. Without exception, grieving families in my ministry all state that they do not want the remembrance to be a sad occasion. Referring to the deceased, "So-and-so wouldn't want that." So, what is this new trend?
As we continue to lead God's people in an increasingly post-Christian environment, common misunderstandings about our faith can create unhelpful distance between ourselves and the people we are trying to reach. It is my hope that the insights in this series of posts help bridge that gap in a way that promotes fulfillment of the Lord's Great Commission. When researchers test their hypotheses in view of establishing theories, they will set forth various predictions that should come to pass if their hypotheses are correct. If their predictions do not come to pass, the theory may need adjusting or the assumptions that led to these predictions may be faulty. For the present discussion, here's what this means. Non-Christians will sometimes point to the moral failure of a Christian leader as evidence that Christianity itself is a sham. As Christians, we would immediately recognize the disastrous effects of moral failures among our leaders, and one of these certainly is the impact these failures have on the unbelieving community. The idea, though, betrays a myth about Christianity - a faulty prediction. The faulty prediction would be: If Christianity is true, Christian leaders will never fall. This is a non sequitur. This opens up the issue of theory versus practice. In theory, Christ always provides a way to escape temptation, so we should be able to live our lives without sinning (1 Cor. 10:13). In practice, though, there are many times that the spirit is willing, yet the flesh is weak.. In such times, we do not take the path of escape that God has provided. The Bible is very clear that believers retain a sin nature up until such time as we receive our glorified bodies (Phil. 3:21, e.g.). Until then, we will face a war in our members (Rom. 7:23 ff.). We have choices. We can put on the new man or the old man (Eph. 4:22-24). The reality is that the truth of Christianity does not hinge on the morality of Christian leaders. The fact that we retain this sin nature almost means that all of us are hypocrites to some degree. Even though we are not always true to our own profession of faith, the weakness of our sinful flesh does not mean that the Christian faith is hogwash. Christian doctrine does not pretend to teach that Christians, once saved, will never again sin (John 13:10). Therefore, to dismiss Christianity on the grounds that some of its proponents fail is logically unsound. That said, let us provoke one another to good works (Heb. 10:24). Let us give the more earnest heed to the things which we have heard, lest at any time, we should let them slip (Heb. 2:1). And let our light so shine that men may see our good works and glorify our Father which is in Heaven (Matt. 5:16). The more our walk matches our talk the less explaining of our failures we will have to do before unbelievers and the more Gospel-sharing we will be able to pursue (1 Cor. 9:27). |
AuthorPastor Billy Shaw is a full-time pastor, husband, and father with a passion for helping other pastors. Archives
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